Hello all
Well what a tough week this last one has been. I have committed to a formal practice everyday and yesterday discovered the body scan which helped my recognise the subtle feelings and not so subtle sinking feeling in my stomach.
However, unfortunately today I caught up in the "drama" of the week and what I've termed the script. The "script" for me is the negative voice that tells me I can't I'm useless etc. today I very much found myself caught up in the old pathways that spark negative connections. As I'm writing this there is a sliver of compassion as this is the strongest way my brain knows how to be. However, I'm also mindfully aware of the part that tells me I shouldn't have got caught up in it. This is the battle I seem to be aware of at various times. It seems that whilst aware of it I feel unable to stop the downward spiral.
I have yet to decide whether seeing this is 1. Mindful in itself and 2. Whether there is a way to break the cycle of seeing negative problems all around me.
I would be interested in other people's experiences of similar feelings.
Thanks
I think it is mindful to notice when you're caught up in negative thinking, and that is the first stage in learning how not to get caught up in it. Noticing is enough at this stage - don't beat yourself up! Mindfulness isn't about effort- it's about stepping back a bit, watching and observing what the mind does, and in that watching, change happens, but you can't force it to do so. Let go of the battling idea, it is just another thought. Sounds like you've made a great start on the mindfulness practice.
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